monstrous cut||purse





’s version of abjection/weirdness.
Reminiscent of charges of ‘reification’, but not the same, there is a substantial movement to create the subject, object, and so on in the very space of debating abjection versus ambivalence. Just as the amplifier’s||George Groz-The Regulars.
effect on the ‘pick up’ and the strings lets the hand fall away, a little psychoanalytic drama can act and accomplish much ber smiled, girls that wore pink and orange together with fake tan and manicured names and they found everything so wonderful, talking about the poor children on the nis always interesting to see what a philosopher thinks about Art, but one must not forget that they come after the fact. Artists are the do-ers __ the makers.

It would be interesting to compare this sort of 'manifesto; type of document with a similar set of ideas by artists, painters, poets and writers...

What!!
Says Henry Miller puffing his pipe in the vally!

Follow that line of flight Folks!
ews who just needed some hugs. But you wouldn't hug me, wouldn't touch me- it was always "mam I'm not a baby" and the roses seemed a dull red, scentless and life said "this is it, this is all there is" and the flames danced and danced and said they could make me dance too. So I put the fire in my belly and lay by the roses to see if they could change colour, to see if I could change colour- but no amount of iodine could bring my wrists to life. The stale air grew tight in my little lungs and I saw your life flash before my eyes and I knew I had been dead all this time, and when my eyelids froze and my eyes grew glazed I saw your future grow brighter without me in it. And as the beating in my head, the beating in my heart blurred my surroundings and slowed to a final standstill the roses above me grew a little redder.


myth

Isis had aspects.) To know his name wouldn't be feeble and nodding off. As id his mouth drooped and let out bringing her equal power of saliva which fell to the ground. Isis now mixed his saliva with the earth and uttered her magic to create living venom he gods. As Re refused giving away his name freely to her, she set out to find a way to coerce him to reveal the spouse serpent from the mixture. Gods would also rank her and her son Horus beside him among the traits and eye horizon in his 'Boat of Millions of Years'. he aged as he approached the end of day. beta drops Re refused giving away his name freely to her, she set out to find a way to coerce him to the soup. Soup spoon was traveling across decided, that would find out the secret name of her father Re, the next soup spoon. (In this myth she was daughter to Re. Often same deities appear in different
ter than it can describe. Monstrosity and abjection as scary spatial otherness deserves the criticisms Deleuze summarizes, in another context, of Oedipal theory.
Opposing the psychoanalytical concept of the unconscious as a theater, with its constant representation of Hamlet and Oedipus, they see the unconscious as a factory, as production. The unconscious produces, like a factory, exactly the opposite of the psychoanalytical vision. …
Desire is established and constructs in an assemblage always putting several factors into play, whereas psychoanalysis reduces desire to a single factor (father, mother, phallus), completely ignorant of the multiple, of constructivism, of assemblages. … So desire constructs in the collective, the multiple, the pack, and one asks what is one's position in relation to the pack, outside, alongside, inside, at the center? All phenomena of desire. (Stivale)
Abjection is not a performance that moves inward towards a spectator, rather it is productive of the abject, and the lesson of the abjecting is not to look at how you felt about the shit, but to look at what this shit is you keep talking about. After all, every subject and object is abjected from elsewhere, and so the same light bulbs matter, just in a very different sense.
“Monsters, as discursive demarcations of unthought, are to be treated not exclusively as the others of the defining group or self, but also as boundary phenomena, anomalous hybrids that constantly make and unmake the boundaries separating interiority from exteriority, historical world from fictional otherworld, meaning from nonsense” (Uebel 266). Monsters as signposts of unthought, should be treated as signs and posts. If monsters can be treated as signposts. `The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master - - that's all.'[2] Maybe Uebel is right, unthought is indeed about as foreign as the underside of a Möebius strip. But only from outside of its own topo(graphie)s is its shape complicated or problematic. For Escher’s ants it’s all the same. Analyzing monsters as signposts inserts a direction and material of distance that fails the analytic endeavor of
radically defamiliarizing and denaturalizing, not only the past and the distant, but the present. One way, however, in which such an analysis is still incomplete – in which, indeed, it seems to me that it has tended inadvertently to refamiliarize, renaturalize, damagingly reinfy an entity that it could be doing much more to subject to analysis – is in counterposing against the alterity of the past a relatively un
188
Little Poem did he who make
the Aenid make thee?
ified [assemblage] that “we” do know today. (Sedgwick 44-45)

Only ‘The Truth’ is ‘out there’. Other interesting effects are very often not, and an attempt at deep focus does nothing to help.
So far it’s been more what monstrosity is not, what monstrosity need not be, and what happens in the becoming of the discursive formations of monstrosity. Isn’t there really narrative in the object and image or, maybe, in the relation by which it is taken in? And anyway, what about monstrosity as more than just a bad accusation no one should ever make? In a colorblindness versus race consciousness consideration it’s bad to discriminate based on race, but given that such has occurred in the past, what can be done now that doesn’t ignore new material realities? What else happens with monsters?
The number one rule of the monster movie is, of course, to show the monster as little as possible. Jurassic Park (Steven Spielberg, 1993) isn’t a movie about monsters because dinosaurs are so thoroughly presentable. Known in image and intricate physiological detail from television and grade school, with their extinction fantasized as a really important scientific debate, dinosaurs wander around constantly. Even in the alien of Alien (Ridley Scott 1979), the spectator needn’t be simply thrown into orbits of ambivalence by the tenderness of a drooling Geiger thing. “Oh god, it’s so ugly, but it can act so human. This totally undermines the whole system of categories that composed my worldview.” Right. The case is most clear if you make that objection. Then someone does react that way.
Monsters do not take set forms of disproportion, and so each monster is itself a hybrid, an improvisation by another artistic effort. At the foot of the bird beast’s seat in The Garden of Earthly Delight, a dark thing which might be called monstrous branches out over a sedated doll of a white woman body. The form has no distinct head, its arms seem just as much like legs, but that they terminate in tree branches, which might seem more like hands than feet. Attendant to this microscene, a black body lurks in the shadows, defined mostly by a groping hand across white skin, and less clearly by some kind of rabbit head against a red desert (back)ground. From what form are these supposedly derived, and why should experience be reduced into replays and representations of psychoanalytic theater? The organs subsist in unresolved relation, a hollow skin like the torso growing further up the panel, with a face to the spectator.
Hans Belting imagines an alternative narrative coherence to the images and sympower of saliva which fell to the ground. Isis now mixed his saliva with the earth and uttered her magic to create living venom he gods. As Re refused giving away his name freely to her, she set out to find a way to coerce him to reveal the spouse serpent from the mixture. Gods would also rank her and her son Horus beside him among the traits and eye horizon in his 'Boat of Millions of Years'. he aged as he approached thebols of The Garden. Refuting other theories, he works out the possibility that the story is of a world that had no originary fall of man. Again it is the effort to find a system to it, to uncover a dynamic with a point to what is just paint. The garden itself, it’s worth remembering, tells no story, it does not speak and has no text on the interior of the triptych. This does not mean that it is inaccessibly paint, or that words ‘make sense’, but telling a story about what the painting ‘really says’ is just that, a kind of story of its own. Belting turns the image into a question of relation and proportion, of similarity and comparable tropes. No painting is an island, but that does not makthat would find out the secret name of her father Re, the next soup spoon. (In this myth she was daughter to Re. Often same deities appear in different
ter than it can describe. Monstrosity and abjection as scary spatial otherness deserves the criticisms Deleuze summarize
e it an oracle more than a Rorschach. An event processed in terms of measure and portion has been, in the sense of the lost kind of monstrosity of scale and aberrance, made a monster.
Rather than try to tame what is considered wild (nature, classically, but monstrosity here), why not relate in other ways? It doesn’t take a Frankenstein legend to realize these terrors from the deep are “from” nowhere deeper than the motion by which they are rendered. Children’s novels take monsters so thoroughly into the domestic as to tear the Lock Ness monster out of the possibility of a past and lost real into the new (and far better, after all) reality of The Lake Mess Monster. Only in moments of superb artistic accomplishment can convincing vampires come out and play. “We now claim to penetrate Otherness, to get inside it (conquest) in order to discover exactly how it works (science), so that we can colonize it (engineering), or build an example of it (as in the Turing test, successful simulation is our proof of understanding)” (Levin 30). Thus, the implosion of the monstrous as it becomes more clearly the feedback loop itself, the very measure of proportionality. Monsters are no longer happened upon or received but exhaustively manufactured. This has always been taken as true, in some sense, but here the destiny of the argument makes its anatomy not one of blood and muscle, but of theorization and rhetoric as the silently dominant accomplice.
Was it always th such re-assembling is the active creation of an assemblage (Deleuze), in one sense, and risks trading the denaturalization ‘of the past’ for the renaturalization ‘of the present’ (Sedgwick). Sometimes ‘monsters are scary’, more often they’re emblems on halloween candy and costume, or sculpted in meticulous detail as apotropaic décor for architecture. A perfect example. How can “we” clearly read “the past” and what things “meant then”? The idea that gargoyles were supposed to be scary monsters influenced the restoration of Notre Dame cathedral, making for gargoyles that (the logic bounces) would have appeared scary, in a style that took cues from the apotropaic use of evil imagery used to ward off evil. Once it’s been done and imagined in totalizing forms as the way monstrosity and fear functioned, who can deny it?
Monstrosity is that which is monstrous, but what particular images or animals this applies to can only be determined by that very act occurring. Theorization of monstrosity as lack or aberration ignore the productivity of their own work, and thus raise themselves up by the boot straps into apparently reasonable accounts of how the world works. Once the feedback loop begins, it can be changed, but not by the mechanism that began it. However, any participation in the feedback loop feeds back to itself and thus is more than a singular action, say of stopping the strings, because this does not stop the ‘pick up’, and allows the strings to start moving once the hand is removed. Rather, the wail of the oscillating national anthem can be taken further at its own game. Monstrosity can be anything, and trying to discriminate between worthy objects unnecessarily limits its possibility as a social force, fatally caught up already in its own fate. Calling people monsters does not always make them repelling and abject outsides partly because systems don’t ‘work’. Yet, this assemblage of speaking contorts and changes the monstrous at the flat level of its subsistence: a swarm of terms bandied about with some effect. Finally, a work of cultural criticism ends itself just exactly as the heart of its object, coming to the dead center of its space: an informed reading of Monstrous.com’s mission statement as the mission statement of the well done kitsch website that it is:
Monstrous.com is solely dedicated to the recognition of monsters in our culture and society and the necessary awareness that mythology and history are driving forces in the global shaping of the “third millenary man”.
We are against the democratization of monsters as characters of trendy novels and fright movies that forget the true value of monsters and focus on their less significative features. On the contrary, we believe that monsters an essential but invisible part of our world. They were among us, they have disappeared but they are still present, hidden somewhere between dream and reality. When and what will be the next surge ? : genetics, radioactivity, aliens from outter space, demons from the Apocalypse ? .

Fuller’s London Pride

10:31 pm tuesday south kensington light summer rain
on the walk to safeway on the queue outside
the cinema awaiting night’s last show

on shuttered shop windows on newspapers in french
hebrew and farsi on the chain bookshop waterstone
on the porno shop that specializes in latex fetish wear

on the internet café where singles hunch over terminals
on mobile phones shouted into on people doing the shouting
on vespas’ orbits in tight traffic on street walkers watching

a bit of street theater on the young and hip in retro 70s gear
on couples walking faster than i have ever seen fast walking
on the skinhead around 40 who stops me clutching a can of fuller’s london pride

excuse me young man, don’t mean to bother you,
i need 40 pence more, perhaps you can help

Suicide Note(story)

Suicide Note

By the time you read this you will have realised that I am dead. I have been dead for several weeks. You may have noticed the strange smell, well that's me, decomposing beneath the rose bushes, human compost making the petals that little bit redder. But don't feel sad or guilty, that isn't why I am writing this, I just want to explain, to help you come to terms with my death. But you may be dead too now, time does strange things.

To begin I would like to verify that my death wasn't a sudden thing; it wasn't the result of a bad headache, poor test results or a baby faced guy leaving some boy band. If you know me, and I mean really know me, you'll know that I could never be that fickle. But then how well can we know one another, it's not like we can crack out a can opener, peer into each others brains and say "ah so that is what you meant" and have the world make perfect sense. Things don't work that way. At least psychoanalysts would have us believe that we are full of layers- but layers of what? Skin, hair, blood, guts, large intestines, small intestines, bowels, molecules, atoms, parasites nibbling away at the core. Us multilayered machines with layers of reasons for our existence, layers of meanings for our words, actions, thoughts- well here's a clue, let me break it down for you: human beings are by nature selfish creatures, "all about me", we delude ourselves into thinking we are good, because good people are liked and well we want to be liked. So we reach a compromise between our desires and other peoples, our desires and what we should desire, what is politically correct. But sometimes we misread things, don't know what is right, or simply our desires get the best of us. Priests, Saints, Buddhists, Mormons and other religious fold work on this basis. Do right or you go to hell or better yet, get reincarnated as a slug. If I go without sex for 50 years(altar boys don't count) I'll be first in line for heaven, laughing my ass off as all you sinners burn below. And God? Let me tell you about God, he's the biggest egotist of them all- getting the whole world to jump through hoops for his own amusement, because he can and then turning away the bible bashers for one small indiscretion like stealing a penny sweet when you could barely walk, or thinking about the weather girl in a naughty kind of way. And all you modern girls and guys out there who think God's given up on the whole sanctity of marriage stuff, contraception being the devils work and showing your bellybutton in public places think again- he's a bit of an uptight fucker like that.

I am wandering off topic though, I really should explain why I am still here, and how much pain it causes me when you look through me with distant eyes. Or walk past my body laughing without a glance, as I stand above my corpse counting the ever growing population of maggots that has taken up residence in my gut.

What was different in life though? I was a transparent object, a piece of glass with no name & you were my very own baby faced boyband member growing inside me; a still born child, false hope; a cancerous growth poisoning my ability to stay immune. I must stop here and interject, it is not your fault, this is not some doomed twisted love spell- I am not that fickle. And for anyone else that may find this, while I would not recommend ______ as a friend, acquaintance, employee or otherwise, he is certainly not responsible for my death- though you'd think after three weeks he may realise I was gone.


The death

My death began eighteen years ago, I have many theories as to what happened but it all boils down to disappointment, and middleclass boredom. There was nothing to see that could excite me with child like enthusiasm and wide eyes, I'd seen it all, done it all- nothing could scare or delight me. Perhaps if I'd believed in God then, but it really takes a booming voice in the sky telling you that you're not on the list to seal your faith. I was not superstitious so I couldn't conceive of the possibility of ghosts, gods, goblins, witches or banshees- a shadow was simply a shadow, and children screaming about virgin apparitions was simply too much sugar or a desire to be in the limelight(I still hold to that) for if a dead virgin chose to convey a message about love and peace why would she tell children with overactive imaginations and a tendency for the melodramatic. Anything worthwhile would be exaggerated ten fold, you should love your fellow man would be ended with "or the red skin monsters will come from the ground and eat your insides on toast", or worse still they could describe her as having bad skin or being "old" with a simple flicker of their twisted little tongues. The idea of immaculate conception wasn't an easy thing to swallow either. So they say only Mary, Joseph and Elizabeth saw this angel, and suddenly both Elizabeth and Mary are pregnant, an angel succeeding where Elizabeth's poor husband had failed for many years in fertilising her eggs. This always struck me as the most elaborate threesome cover up in the history of mankind, I honestly can't think of anything that would top it.

Again I am straying from topic- what I was trying to say is I couldn't believe in incredulous stories; though I've come to discover that there are ghosts and there really is a spiritual entity in the sky with a VIP's only badge, but peoples exaggerated versions of events made it too hard to grab hold of. So I did what any good catholic girl would do in my shoes and jumper out of an aeroplane(wearing a parachute of course), swam with sharks, bought a cat, pierced my skin with sharp unsterilized objects and hoped beyond hope, that I would wake up the next morning and think "this is it, this is what it means to be alive" and I would walk outside and the perfume from the flowers would smell like a cliché poem, the colours would be brighter, newer and I would enjoy each day as if it was the first and savour it as if it was the last. But after waking up after each near death experience & gasping for that breath of life saving oxygen I found the air tasted that much staler, and each time I hoped to suspend my death to draw my heart beat as a line on a page. But I woke every time and the days dragged on. That's how I met him, in an internal state of war, battling my inbuilt death.

He smiled softly, his mouth curving crookedly across his face in an adorable unsymmetrical way that would turn off most of gods creatures, but to me it was perfect. He asked the time, I was sure it was a pick up line, all the cheesy magazines I had read assured me it was. So I stood there, gazing into his khaki green eyes and thinking maybe he would give me the kiss of life and when I opened my eyes it would be all new again, but instead he mumbled "thanks" and walked away. I saw him again a few days later. I even smiled and said hi. He turned around looking confused and a little put out, his forehead crinkled into little mounds as he muttered "oh hi" in a manner that could be translated into any language as "who the fuck are you". It was the thought of him though that stopped me setting my hair on fire that night, when the flame before me danced telling me about the magical things it could do, and I watched it mesmerized believing its words. I wanted to see if it could dance and dance, make my body pulse and burn with fever, to shock my nerves into feeling new things. But when I blinked my eyes I saw him beneath my eyelids, smiling at me and saying, "don't" & I could see that there was a possibility that he and I would share that kiss, and maybe it would mean something.

And it did mean something, though not exactly what I hoped. I was at a party, intoxicated with drink and other undesirable products responsible drones tell you to stay away from. The music beat through my head, blurring my surroundings, drowning my thoughts in top twenty floor fillers. I didn't see him until he was right beside me. I'm not sure if he remembered me, it's very doubtful, but there he was slurring what I presume were words though I couldn't swear on it. And the next thing I knew we were kissing, pressing lips fiercely together with a strength and speed that said "I need to feel something", a desperation that said "I need you to hold me", and I did hold him, and I felt...something, everything, but the next morning when we woke up there was a silence. It echoed between us, saying what I feared to say. When we did speak the words tumbled like obstacles between us, awkward stumbling blocks prohibiting communication. And his breath was stale. His lips- corrosive. So we kissed softly, slowly with a tenderness that said "I feel bad for not loving you" a guilt that said "goodbye" and we parted ways.

A few days later I started to plan a new adventure, and soon found myself in Venice renting a room in an old Palace with damp walls and steps that went down into the canal. The air was moist inside, paint peeled from the walls, hanging sharply from the corners of rooms, bubbling curiously beside my bed. Somehow it suited me- I liked the stale dampness, the corroding beauty reminding me of that kiss, the aftertaste, the morning after, the numbing emptiness of life. I would lie there and think about that moment when I thought life might seem fresh, and with each memory I would press my finger through paint bubbles, listening to it crack and remember how predictable human nature is, how monotonous life can be.

That is how you found me, thinking of that moment, watching tourists pass by my window in gondolas staring adoringly into each others eyes, not realising how foolish they seem, how beneath their blind fate, their "love" was a moment relived, an experience shared with a multitude of robots, animals designed to follow the same pattern, the same process to preserve life- for the sake of it.

When you came I understood that glazed affection, I smothered you in kisses and swore never to let you go, I joined the human species and fell into the routine. And for a while it was perfect, we travelled the countryside looking at art galleries, sitting on swings and watching people go by, listening to their words of admiration as I paraded you- my prodigy- my pride- my life. And we did live, everyday was an eternal life studies class, we couldn't get enough until that day.

You called me on the phone. It was over you said. I had to learn to live by myself, you needed your own space. So you stopped calling me so often, and he- he called me everyday using words like "bitch" and wouldn't understand no matter how many times I tried to explain. I didn't know how to find him, and if I did what would I have said. So you used words like "hate" and lawyers gave me letters that said you were no longer mine- and you went away with him to follow a new life studies class. When you moved back in three years later it wasn't the same, you had facial hair and a nasty tongue. Everything I did was wrong, everything I wore was indecent, everything I said embarrassing. So I cried and you called me manipulative, I grounded you and you called me names and threatened to run away to your fathers. You brought home girls with flower names and eyes that never smiled, girls that wore pink and orange together with fake tan and manicured names and they found everything so wonderful, talking about the poor children on the news who just needed some hugs. But you wouldn't hug me, wouldn't touch me- it was always "mam I'm not a baby" and the roses seemed a dull red, scentless and life said "this is it, this is all there is" and the flames danced and danced and said they could make me dance too. So I put the fire in my belly and lay by the roses to see if they could change colour, to see if I could change colour- but no amount of iodine could bring my wrists to life. The stale air grew tight in my little lungs and I saw your life flash before my eyes and I knew I had been dead all this time, and when my eyelids froze and my eyes grew glazed I saw your future grow brighter without me in it. And as the beating in my head, the beating in my heart blurred my surroundings and slowed to a final standstill the roses above me grew a little redder.

myth

Isis had aspects.) To know his name wouldn't be feeble and nodding off. As id his mouth drooped and let out bringing her equal power of saliva which fell to the ground. Isis now mixed his saliva with the earth and uttered her magic to create living venom he gods. As Re refused giving away his name freely to her, she set out to find a way to coerce him to reveal the spouse serpent from the mixture. Gods would also rank her and her son Horus beside him among the traits and eye horizon in his 'Boat of Millions of Years'. he aged as he approached the end of day. beta drops Re refused giving away his name freely to her, she set out to find a way to coerce him to the soup. Soup spoon was traveling across decided, that would find out the secret name of her father Re, the next soup spoon. (In this myth she was daughter to Re. Often same deities appear in different contexts, mixing and sharing, Then she placed the serpent across the path where the soup spoon would travel the next day, and waited.

Bon Appétit

click image to enlarge

when to breathe

A writer from Shanxi Province is waiting for someone to decode his novel, a novel without a single word but a set of 14 punctuations...
-China Daily


You have me thinking of a love story
that is nothing more than signals
to remind us
when to breath. This (:)
that (::) a rising tone (:)
driven to the climax
of an exclamation (!) Death alone
is a full stop. On this side, it’s commas
all the way down, longing for
more than half; settling for ellipses...
Fill passing time with conversation,
heavy under the wait
of words.