He, Ambert uv yale, watches the sun fawl lik a stoneduk onta tha mirrar uv th cowld bloo watr. Humbert’s nowse splyen’ acruss the playn of hes fac, a duk’s-ball skoopen’ palls uv madmurnin’ aire. God hav marcy on us ull: n’thyn sum, xclaim’d Murphy…! Nat a minut ta whyste sayd Murphy sloo’lee; nory a’wun…nay…nury a wun…! A brownyelo turt’l set acrost the mowth uv tha rivar, its shel spakl’d with watr’gras and marrowbone, a mozaik uv colar tha likes uv witch Humbert had naver see’n…turtalfat, browner tha’n tabaco jewce (so thay s’a) fat’-willoo’ing the whog uv its nek. ‘Strange indeed’, sayd Murphy pleesenglee, ‘such a strange and unsightly sight: a turtle with a woggy neck and a tinkers’ filed down shellcap’. Humbert, his flimax undun, the sk’y a kat-o-nine-tails…not a minut ta wayst, nor a momint to be lost-in ni refrownd.
Wen Murphy waz a wee lad, a wayf, a tinee wee wayf uv a lad, he mayd kytes frum waxpapre and seelingwax. He uwsed strait’end ouwt kowthangars and bawledup twyne he pylfured frum hiss da’s werkshop, tha varysame one hiss da keypt hees two’ll’s and varnush in; tha varysame one wair hee kep’t a bowtell of Eyrash whyski an his Presbateareean pype abacco..hid’en ahind the varysame werkbench th’at he press’d nayls an skroos inta littal trinkats an awd nd’s. Seelingwax werkd best wen it wuz kep at reumtemprature, thatwaz U cuwd stik tha waxpapre too tha strait’end ouwt kowthangars with’owt maken a mess’a thengs, wich meent hiss da wood geit all angree and owt uv sorts, wich allsew meent heed mos probablee tan hiss ass t’ill hiss earz whent all red an boyllen-hot. ‘I wish I could sleep’ sayd Mulligan, ‘even were it for a moment, a tincture of sleepytime sleep. This is cowtime time, the time when all time, even time that hasn’t reared its untimely head, plays tricks on you, a noggin of time...so some say…so they do’. Albacorp tunuh with a musthard yelloo sawce, a wee wittal uv cowz milk sturr’d up in a Masun’s jhar. Tha muir u frapit tha sweetar it geyts. Me mamar towld me that, me deer sweet mamar: so shee did so itsso.
A sue-are bleek sk’eye, a grayt balluvblack tar. Helpheeve tha crown-enghead, cobbl’d in dar ma’s ovumketch. Hede allred an blistard, a wee caff’s tung lolleng lollenglee ona sawltlick in tha fallo rune. Murphy luckt at Mulligan an sayd, ‘for the love of God, man, the dog must go!’ Thaiyd been thru this befour, too manee tymes ta cownt; tha dog beeing’ a sorece uv mutch consternashun an sqwabbaleng. ‘For the life of me I can’t abide by it…the dog must go, immediately!’ Murphy luckt at Mulligan, hiss I’s beedeng, an sayd, ‘leave the poor thing be, it hasn’t a brain in its head, poor, poor thing.’ Apon here’eng this tha dog, cowareng in tha corner, loward its errs, its tayl beetween its scabbee lags, tung lolleng, fir hackleng, paas fidjeteng, arse presst inta tha herdwood flore.
Shez gut tha m’patago agai’n, tha saym strayn…tha saymn coffeng an hawking, tha unyun tayst, tha spoyld boyelled yello tayst, tha curset fowell ohdar thet nevar seemd ta goaway. Shee did’nae remembar mutch, an thows thengs shee diyd remembar shee tryd ta fourget, ta put outtuv her th’oughts… fore’evar an evar…God bles’s us awl, eech an everee oneuvus, shee sayd…butt no’one wuz lissteneng, naree a sowl, no ev’ayn a dog norevin a beestuvburdun, tha wyldeoxin thet liv’d near tha cornfeelds rowndby tha pepparfeelds rownd bythair…far’awhey, toofar ta see cleerlee withowt a payar uv byknockulars…that far’awhey’far, toofar ta seewith tha humin’i.
Apaleena herd cows loweng an a ren warballeng an she remembarred incerteng plums inta the fowlds uv har vagina, plumjewce trecalled down har th’eyes a sweetreecally powl undarneeth her boughtum, an tha sharp smel uv cowdung, her i’s moyst frum swet…oneuvus has sumtheng ta hyde, she thoughwt, a secrat bestkept secrat…a bryte summar sun, berds hummeng, cows loweng, sweetreekally fowlds uv wharm skin, oneuvus has sumtheng ta hyde, she thoughwt, a secrat bestleft unsayd. Asfar as she new Humbert hadent spowken a werd ta ane one in y’ears, an wen he did, it wuz in a paynfullee low voyce, a voyce hevee with sadniss an haytred…an angree voyce that mayde tha haires onher theyes standonend, no sweetreecall or sweetsweetarplumjewce, just a hardlow voyce heevee with angar an leyef’s payne.
Wen Murphy waz a wee lad, a wayf, a tinee wee wayf uv a lad, he mayd kytes frum waxpapre and seelingwax. He uwsed strait’end ouwt kowthangars and bawledup twyne he pylfured frum hiss da’s werkshop, tha varysame one hiss da keypt hees two’ll’s and varnush in; tha varysame one wair hee kep’t a bowtell of Eyrash whyski an his Presbateareean pype abacco..hid’en ahind the varysame werkbench th’at he press’d nayls an skroos inta littal trinkats an awd nd’s. Seelingwax werkd best wen it wuz kep at reumtemprature, thatwaz U cuwd stik tha waxpapre too tha strait’end ouwt kowthangars with’owt maken a mess’a thengs, wich meent hiss da wood geit all angree and owt uv sorts, wich allsew meent heed mos probablee tan hiss ass t’ill hiss earz whent all red an boyllen-hot. ‘I wish I could sleep’ sayd Mulligan, ‘even were it for a moment, a tincture of sleepytime sleep. This is cowtime time, the time when all time, even time that hasn’t reared its untimely head, plays tricks on you, a noggin of time...so some say…so they do’. Albacorp tunuh with a musthard yelloo sawce, a wee wittal uv cowz milk sturr’d up in a Masun’s jhar. Tha muir u frapit tha sweetar it geyts. Me mamar towld me that, me deer sweet mamar: so shee did so itsso.
A sue-are bleek sk’eye, a grayt balluvblack tar. Helpheeve tha crown-enghead, cobbl’d in dar ma’s ovumketch. Hede allred an blistard, a wee caff’s tung lolleng lollenglee ona sawltlick in tha fallo rune. Murphy luckt at Mulligan an sayd, ‘for the love of God, man, the dog must go!’ Thaiyd been thru this befour, too manee tymes ta cownt; tha dog beeing’ a sorece uv mutch consternashun an sqwabbaleng. ‘For the life of me I can’t abide by it…the dog must go, immediately!’ Murphy luckt at Mulligan, hiss I’s beedeng, an sayd, ‘leave the poor thing be, it hasn’t a brain in its head, poor, poor thing.’ Apon here’eng this tha dog, cowareng in tha corner, loward its errs, its tayl beetween its scabbee lags, tung lolleng, fir hackleng, paas fidjeteng, arse presst inta tha herdwood flore.
Shez gut tha m’patago agai’n, tha saym strayn…tha saymn coffeng an hawking, tha unyun tayst, tha spoyld boyelled yello tayst, tha curset fowell ohdar thet nevar seemd ta goaway. Shee did’nae remembar mutch, an thows thengs shee diyd remembar shee tryd ta fourget, ta put outtuv her th’oughts… fore’evar an evar…God bles’s us awl, eech an everee oneuvus, shee sayd…butt no’one wuz lissteneng, naree a sowl, no ev’ayn a dog norevin a beestuvburdun, tha wyldeoxin thet liv’d near tha cornfeelds rowndby tha pepparfeelds rownd bythair…far’awhey, toofar ta see cleerlee withowt a payar uv byknockulars…that far’awhey’far, toofar ta seewith tha humin’i.
Apaleena herd cows loweng an a ren warballeng an she remembarred incerteng plums inta the fowlds uv har vagina, plumjewce trecalled down har th’eyes a sweetreecally powl undarneeth her boughtum, an tha sharp smel uv cowdung, her i’s moyst frum swet…oneuvus has sumtheng ta hyde, she thoughwt, a secrat bestkept secrat…a bryte summar sun, berds hummeng, cows loweng, sweetreekally fowlds uv wharm skin, oneuvus has sumtheng ta hyde, she thoughwt, a secrat bestleft unsayd. Asfar as she new Humbert hadent spowken a werd ta ane one in y’ears, an wen he did, it wuz in a paynfullee low voyce, a voyce hevee with sadniss an haytred…an angree voyce that mayde tha haires onher theyes standonend, no sweetreecall or sweetsweetarplumjewce, just a hardlow voyce heevee with angar an leyef’s payne.
