---------------------------------------------------------------------------.>
I pissed in the kitchen sink.
I got your cat high.
I threw pizza on you in the shower.
I told your boyfriend you were cheating.
I pretended I was a mobster and said I was going to kill you.
I broke Mom's arm.
I fathered a sick monster.
I ignited one of my farts.
For encouraging your nephew to play with matches.
For reading your diary.
For rifling your purse.
For spending all my money on alcohol, drugs, and pornography.
For stealing all your ideas.
For vomiting on your sequined dress. For shooting your fish. For the Bob's Big Boy sign I kidnapped. For all the women at work I have sexually harassed. And for my cowardly persecution of the Sperm Bank's "Gallon Club." I'm really sorry ("Sorry!") for a bunch of other stuff, but I don't know how much longer I can apologize. For a complete list, email me at mike_topp@hotmail.com
=================================================
